Where's your dignity, ladies? ANNABEL COLE begs: Put it away!
Where's your dignity, ladies? As J-Lo, a 45-year-old mother of two, is the latest middle-aged diva to copy the degrading poses of young rivals, ANNABEL COLE begs: Put it away!
Writhing across the stage in a plunging body suit, fishnet tights and lashings of red lipstick, it was a performance worthy of any aspiring starlet desperate to make her name.
Yet the woman gyrating provocatively and treating the audience to eye-watering views of her anatomy as she performed her new song — subtly named Booty — was no ingenue but 45-year-old Jennifer Lopez, a multi-millionaire and mother-of-two.
Crawling suggestively across the stage, twerking her famously curvy derriere and at one point spanking Australian rapper Iggy Azalea — who is almost 20 years her junior — the performance left virtually nothing to the imagination.
Jennifer Lopez recently crawled suggestively across the stage, twerking her famously curvy derriere and at one point spanked rapper Iggy Azalea in a performance which left virtually nothing to the imagination
As an attention-seeking display, Lopez’s overtly sexy act at the American Music Awards definitely did the trick. But watching this aggressively titillating performance from the comfort of my sofa, I was overwhelmed by the desire to hide my face behind the cushions.
For although thrice-divorced Lopez was clearly desperate to show the global audience how much sexier she was than a singer half her age, the overriding message was one of desperation. And we all know there’s nothing less sexy than that.
My 15-year-old daughter Elsa, watching alongside me, was even less charitable. ‘Yuck! she shrieked. ‘She’s way too old to be doing that!’
While I have to agree, J-Lo isn’t the only middle-aged star resorting to the provocative tactics that have worked so well for their far younger — and currently much more successful — counterparts, including Miley Cyrus, 22, and Rihanna, 26.
Indeed, the poses that Lopez struck were strikingly similar to those adopted by Miley Cyrus, who hit the headlines this year for her horrendously lewd performances during her European tour.
Madonna, who’s 56, also seems to be trying to out-do her young rivals.
She frequently appears on stage in sheer bra tops that leave almost nothing to the imagination, fishnet skirts and suspenders, flashing her knickers at the audience.
Or take 68-year-old Cher, whose latest Dressed To Kill tour should really have been renamed Dressed To Die Of Embarrassment.
This summer, Cher performed in a sheer, fringed bodystocking, her modesty covered by pink sequinned nipple tassels.
It’s not a look that many women her age would try to carry off.
Meanwhile in concert in China last month, 44-year-old Mariah Carey, wore a miniskirt that appeared to show her gusset, while her ample embonpoint was barely held in check by her strapless, jewelled bustier.
It’s tempting to describe this sort of absurd posturing as a mid-life crisis.
Even some of my friends have been resorting to age-inappropriate tactics to make themselves look and feel younger — dressing like their teenage daughters in platform trainers and slogan sweatshirts, showing off about downloading Tinder, the ‘no-strings sex app’, or using teenage slang (‘LOLZ’) in text messages.
J-Lo (pictured) isn’t the only middle-aged star resorting to provocative tactics to show off how sexy she is
Wild performances at the 2014 American Music Awards
Sadly, it seems that ageing gracefully is not something that today’s middle-aged women feel comfortable with.
As a woman of 42, I have a certain sympathy for the stars.
It’s a challenge for any woman to find her style in her 40s, when you can feel more confident than ever but the youthful bloom has faded to a certain extent. Outfits which looked fantastic in your 20s and 30s start to lose their ‘wow’ factor.
I’ve lost count of the figure-hugging dresses, skimpy tops and pairs of high heels which I’ve taken to the charity shop because they just don’t look right now that I am middle-aged.
Yet the thought of being confined to cardigans and elasticated waists for the next 40 years is deeply depressing.
It means women of a certain age must walk a fine balance between looking like mutton dressed as lamb and mutton swathed in acres of beige.
I imagine that this balancing act is even harder for a celebrity — ageing in the public eye and trying to ward off competition from the younger stars snapping at her heels.
This summer Cher, 68, (left) performed in a bodystocking, her modesty covered by sequinned nipple tassels, while Madonna, 56, (right) frequently appears on stage in sheer bras that leave nothing to the imagination
But is daring to bare on stage really the way to go?
Or, for that matter, posting online a photo of yourself wearing a skimpy pink bikini on the equally skimpy pretext that it’s now too cold to wear one, as J-Lo did last week?
Or, indeed, sporting a dress to the same award ceremony that revealed almost all of her perfectly-toned tummy?
Now, don’t get me wrong. Jennifer Lopez has, unquestionably, a body that many women half her age will envy.
Yet, in trying to keep up with pop starlets half her age, she has simply made herself a figure of fun.
Her new album AKA has been attacked for its ‘laughable lyrics’. Understandable when one considers that they read: ‘Big, big booty/ What you got a big booty/ Work/ Big, big booty/ What you got a big booty’.
Perhaps most devastating of all is the loss of her ‘best celebrity derriere’ crown, which has definitively been taken by reality TV star Kim Kardashian (gallingly, a decade her junior) whose ample naked behind has been all over the internet in recent weeks.
In concert in China last month 44-year-old Mariah Carey wore a miniskirt that appeared to show her gusset, while her ample embonpoint was barely held in check by her strapless, jewelled bustier
But the sad truth is that while such juvenile attention-seeking antics can work for the young, they almost always fail when attempted by the middle-aged wannabe.
To people like me, who remember these stars in their youthful heyday, the sight of these suspender-clad behinds, over-muscled arms or flabby waists are but sad proof of how time has passed.
And for the tween audience that they are attempting to attract, it’s simply irrelevant.
My daughter Rosa, who is 12 years old, has never heard of Jennifer Lopez and is entirely uninterested in her or her music.
‘Is she one of those people on I’m A Celebrity?’ she asked, damningly, before asking: ‘What IS she wearing?’.
As anybody with teenage children knows, they can be very conservative when it comes to the sort of clothes they feel that their parents should be seen in.
My daughters don’t like me to wear skirts that they consider too short, or too clingy, and recoil if I dare to show any cleavage at all.
Actually, I think they are right. Looking sexy in your 40s is not about showing as much skin as possible; it’s about dressing with style and sophistication.
Can it be a coincidence that the middle-aged women whose careers are flying high feel no need to flash the flesh in order to draw the cameras?
Only this week, Nicole Kidman was pictured at the London premiere of the new Paddington Bear movie wearing a demure but super-stylish Prada pinafore-style dress with killer black heels.
Looking sexy in your 40s isn't about showing so much skin; it’s about dressing with style and sophistication
And just days before Lopez was twerking her booty in front of the world’s media, Jennifer Aniston — also 45 — appeared at a screening of her new film, Cake, wearing a long coat, skinny leather trousers and glasses — and looking, to my mind, infinitely sexier than the singer.
The irony is that the stars who are really popular today wouldn’t dream of exposing themselves in public — because they simply don’t have to go to such lengths to get the attention.
At the same awards where J-Lo got her kit off, 24-year-old Taylor Swift — whose latest album debuted at number 1 and sold more than a million copies — performed in a full-skirted, high-necked gold dress.
Note to the ageing wannabes: baring all is just so last year.
Writhing across the stage in a plunging body suit, fishnet tights and lashings of red lipstick, it was a performance worthy of any aspiring starlet desperate to make her name.
Yet the woman gyrating provocatively and treating the audience to eye-watering views of her anatomy as she performed her new song — subtly named Booty — was no ingenue but 45-year-old Jennifer Lopez, a multi-millionaire and mother-of-two.
Crawling suggestively across the stage, twerking her famously curvy derriere and at one point spanking Australian rapper Iggy Azalea — who is almost 20 years her junior — the performance left virtually nothing to the imagination.
Jennifer Lopez recently crawled suggestively across the stage, twerking her famously curvy derriere and at one point spanked rapper Iggy Azalea in a performance which left virtually nothing to the imagination
As an attention-seeking display, Lopez’s overtly sexy act at the American Music Awards definitely did the trick. But watching this aggressively titillating performance from the comfort of my sofa, I was overwhelmed by the desire to hide my face behind the cushions.
For although thrice-divorced Lopez was clearly desperate to show the global audience how much sexier she was than a singer half her age, the overriding message was one of desperation. And we all know there’s nothing less sexy than that.
My 15-year-old daughter Elsa, watching alongside me, was even less charitable. ‘Yuck! she shrieked. ‘She’s way too old to be doing that!’
While I have to agree, J-Lo isn’t the only middle-aged star resorting to the provocative tactics that have worked so well for their far younger — and currently much more successful — counterparts, including Miley Cyrus, 22, and Rihanna, 26.
Indeed, the poses that Lopez struck were strikingly similar to those adopted by Miley Cyrus, who hit the headlines this year for her horrendously lewd performances during her European tour.
Madonna, who’s 56, also seems to be trying to out-do her young rivals.
She frequently appears on stage in sheer bra tops that leave almost nothing to the imagination, fishnet skirts and suspenders, flashing her knickers at the audience.
Or take 68-year-old Cher, whose latest Dressed To Kill tour should really have been renamed Dressed To Die Of Embarrassment.
This summer, Cher performed in a sheer, fringed bodystocking, her modesty covered by pink sequinned nipple tassels.
It’s not a look that many women her age would try to carry off.
Meanwhile in concert in China last month, 44-year-old Mariah Carey, wore a miniskirt that appeared to show her gusset, while her ample embonpoint was barely held in check by her strapless, jewelled bustier.
It’s tempting to describe this sort of absurd posturing as a mid-life crisis.
Even some of my friends have been resorting to age-inappropriate tactics to make themselves look and feel younger — dressing like their teenage daughters in platform trainers and slogan sweatshirts, showing off about downloading Tinder, the ‘no-strings sex app’, or using teenage slang (‘LOLZ’) in text messages.
J-Lo (pictured) isn’t the only middle-aged star resorting to provocative tactics to show off how sexy she is
Wild performances at the 2014 American Music Awards
Sadly, it seems that ageing gracefully is not something that today’s middle-aged women feel comfortable with.
As a woman of 42, I have a certain sympathy for the stars.
It’s a challenge for any woman to find her style in her 40s, when you can feel more confident than ever but the youthful bloom has faded to a certain extent. Outfits which looked fantastic in your 20s and 30s start to lose their ‘wow’ factor.
I’ve lost count of the figure-hugging dresses, skimpy tops and pairs of high heels which I’ve taken to the charity shop because they just don’t look right now that I am middle-aged.
Yet the thought of being confined to cardigans and elasticated waists for the next 40 years is deeply depressing.
It means women of a certain age must walk a fine balance between looking like mutton dressed as lamb and mutton swathed in acres of beige.
I imagine that this balancing act is even harder for a celebrity — ageing in the public eye and trying to ward off competition from the younger stars snapping at her heels.
This summer Cher, 68, (left) performed in a bodystocking, her modesty covered by sequinned nipple tassels, while Madonna, 56, (right) frequently appears on stage in sheer bras that leave nothing to the imagination
But is daring to bare on stage really the way to go?
Or, for that matter, posting online a photo of yourself wearing a skimpy pink bikini on the equally skimpy pretext that it’s now too cold to wear one, as J-Lo did last week?
Or, indeed, sporting a dress to the same award ceremony that revealed almost all of her perfectly-toned tummy?
Now, don’t get me wrong. Jennifer Lopez has, unquestionably, a body that many women half her age will envy.
Yet, in trying to keep up with pop starlets half her age, she has simply made herself a figure of fun.
Her new album AKA has been attacked for its ‘laughable lyrics’. Understandable when one considers that they read: ‘Big, big booty/ What you got a big booty/ Work/ Big, big booty/ What you got a big booty’.
Perhaps most devastating of all is the loss of her ‘best celebrity derriere’ crown, which has definitively been taken by reality TV star Kim Kardashian (gallingly, a decade her junior) whose ample naked behind has been all over the internet in recent weeks.
In concert in China last month 44-year-old Mariah Carey wore a miniskirt that appeared to show her gusset, while her ample embonpoint was barely held in check by her strapless, jewelled bustier
But the sad truth is that while such juvenile attention-seeking antics can work for the young, they almost always fail when attempted by the middle-aged wannabe.
To people like me, who remember these stars in their youthful heyday, the sight of these suspender-clad behinds, over-muscled arms or flabby waists are but sad proof of how time has passed.
And for the tween audience that they are attempting to attract, it’s simply irrelevant.
My daughter Rosa, who is 12 years old, has never heard of Jennifer Lopez and is entirely uninterested in her or her music.
‘Is she one of those people on I’m A Celebrity?’ she asked, damningly, before asking: ‘What IS she wearing?’.
As anybody with teenage children knows, they can be very conservative when it comes to the sort of clothes they feel that their parents should be seen in.
My daughters don’t like me to wear skirts that they consider too short, or too clingy, and recoil if I dare to show any cleavage at all.
Actually, I think they are right. Looking sexy in your 40s is not about showing as much skin as possible; it’s about dressing with style and sophistication.
Can it be a coincidence that the middle-aged women whose careers are flying high feel no need to flash the flesh in order to draw the cameras?
Only this week, Nicole Kidman was pictured at the London premiere of the new Paddington Bear movie wearing a demure but super-stylish Prada pinafore-style dress with killer black heels.
Looking sexy in your 40s isn't about showing so much skin; it’s about dressing with style and sophistication
And just days before Lopez was twerking her booty in front of the world’s media, Jennifer Aniston — also 45 — appeared at a screening of her new film, Cake, wearing a long coat, skinny leather trousers and glasses — and looking, to my mind, infinitely sexier than the singer.
The irony is that the stars who are really popular today wouldn’t dream of exposing themselves in public — because they simply don’t have to go to such lengths to get the attention.
At the same awards where J-Lo got her kit off, 24-year-old Taylor Swift — whose latest album debuted at number 1 and sold more than a million copies — performed in a full-skirted, high-necked gold dress.
Note to the ageing wannabes: baring all is just so last year.
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